Brady plays some sort of wooden, turtle-necked super spy obsessed with bare mattresses. I don’t know what this is.
I don’t know what this is supposed to be – or what it’s supposed to mean or imply.
It feels like a Gucci or Chanel ad, which must be the point. But in the end, a bare, Simmons Beautyrest mattress sits in a room with a four-time Superbowl Champion staring at it seductively. A concierge asks the UGGS spokesman if he needs anything, to which Tom responds coldly, “No, not a thing.”
There are a three questions that I need answered:
- What is Tom Brady going to do to that mattress?
- Why doesn’t he need any blankets or sheets.
- Who’s idea was the turtleneck?