WASPY, dead-eyed slice of human poundcake, Lindsey Graham has begun to fundraise for Ted Cruz because, as we all had suspected, Graham operates on an algorithm-de-milquetoast. This is the very same Ted Cruz who Graham stated is despised by his colleagues to such a degree that, “If you killed Ted Cruz on the floor of the Senate, and the trial was in the Senate, nobody would convict you.” This was, of course, after Graham said that deciding between a Trump or a Cruz nomination was like, “being shot or poisoned.” Now, we see Graham at his most desperate, responding to the dire circumstances the only way he knows how—by morphing into another person entirely.
We have become rather accustomed to seeing these blatant displays of moral abdication in recent weeks. We saw it with Chris Christie a few weeks ago, as he stood, looking pallid and soul-sucked, behind the Donald’s wildy gesticulating frame. And we saw this happen with Marco Rubio, when, in the last debate, he was once again asked, if he would support the GOP nominee if it were Donald Trump. He could of rose to the occasion and assertively declared,
“No. (beat) No. I will not support Donald Trump because unlike the other candidates on this stage I mean what I say. And when I say, I think Donald Trump would be a disaster for America, these are not just hollow words or an attempt to score debate points, it’s the way I truly feel. And I love the Republican Party, but I refuse to help drag it into the darkness on the shoulders of a snake oil salesman. I will fight for this party to the bitter end, but I will not take part in its destruction.”
But, of course, he didn’t say that. Instead of ascending, he shirked, shriveled and receded back into his right-wing shell, refusing to stir the pot, or be an actual human being. Politicians altering prior statements and sliding into previously dismissed territories during primary season is hardly anything new. But these are polar-shifts—they’re on a different level than we’re used to. While Graham surely sees this endorsement as simply a show of support for the slightly-lesser of three evils (Hillary), and it very well may be a play a play for the tie to force a contested convention, his blatant lack of backbone is just sad, and its indicative of his party’s refusal to adapt and evolve.
What Graham fails to realize is that the landscape has been bulldozed. The field he used to frolic in with Jeb! is now a parking lot; the old general store where he would buy baseball cards is now a casino. The Republican Party, due a stunning lack of leadership and a Krazyglue-like adherence to the status quo, has been seized by a squirrel-haired reality TV star and steak-peddler. It is time to think outside of the red box Lindsey. It’s time to, if I can put it so eloquently, grow a pair.
If Trump really is as sinister a force as Rubio, Ryan, Kasich, Fiorina, Christie, McCain, Graham, and many others have claimed, if he really may destroy our country—there is truly no scenario in which any of these people should support him. But they will—they all will if it comes down to it. If Trump wins the nomination, we will slowly begin to see many republicans surrender their souls. That look, that vacant and battered look we saw on Christie’s face when he embraced the dark side, may only be the beginning. The vampiricism of the Trump campaign and its ability to make accomplished, and seemingly intelligent grown men go against their word in order to adhere to the constructs of their party is astounding.
It’s hard not to cringe watching these dejected men helplessly bound to an archaic sense of duty and division, spewing lifeless sentences into the air like silly string. To see each of them stand before a microphone and basically admit to the American public that everything we fear about politicians is unequivocally, and painfully true should be enjoyable in a certain sense—a vindication. But it’s not. The whole thing is really just sad and disheartening.
by Jesse Mechanic
Jesse Mechanic is the Editor-in-chief of The Overgrown