You’re awfully close to having a burnt-anthropomorphic-shag-carpet-turned-reality-TV-star as your nominee.
There’s no more messing around. The situation is dire; the threat is real, the encroaching forces have taken the bridge—Donald John Trump, the man who has never held public office in any capacity, the man who has zero foreign policy experience, the man who called Mexicans rapists and vowed to build a wall to keep them out, the man who wants to round up all Muslims in the US and give them special ID cards and ban them altogether from entering the country, the man who mocked a disabled reporter, the man who said about women: “you have to treat ’em like sh*t,” the man who said Hilary Clinton, “got schlonged,” the man who said John McCain, a POW for five years was,”not a war hero,” the man who cemented his commercial appeal by firing D-list celebrities in a TV game show, the man who said he is never wrong, the man claimed Barack Obama/Ted Cruz and now Marco Rubio are not eligible to be President, the man who spread dangerous, unsubstantiated anti vaccination conspiracies, the man who attempted to use eminent domain to boot an elderly woman from her longtime home to build a limousine parking lot, the man with hair that derives from the same place it ends, functioning as a visually indecipherable, Delphic, follicle-formed infinity symbol – this man could be out next president.
We can’t be this doltish and naive—we simply can’t be. I refuse to believe, regardless of how divided the country is, or how fractured the GOP electorate has become, that we would actually consider this man for this position. The world is gazing at the US with bated breath wondering when we are going to start taking this process seriously. The Trump parade is a ridiculous, can’t-look-away-freak-show, so the attention it has garnered makes sense; we are enamored by the incendiary insanity of the circus. But it’s time to start acting like rational, thinking adults with actual pulsing cerebral cortexes. It’s time to really sit and ruminate over the possibility of Donald Trump being the leader of the free world. A Trump presidency is designed to set minority and LGBT communities back decades, and if his statements are to be believed, gender equality and scientific advancement would be all but decapitated. Not to mention the ramifications of a leader who wouldn’t know the word diplomacy or tact if was written on the inner lid of his tanning bed. A man so preposterously pompous, so obscenely over-American that he refuses to ever acknowledge wrong doing, to ever let himself appear compassionate, empathetic or measured.
I was traveling through Ireland and the UK this past summer when Trump’s candidacy was beginning to gain some traction, but was still mostly a punchline. Many people I met: cab drivers, bar tenders, hotel clerks and the like would ask about The Donald. It would typically be something along the lines of, “Donald Trump huh?” or “ready for President Trump?” and they would chuckle after asking, and I would respond by shaking my head and saying, “he’ll be gone in a month.” And then I would chuckle and we’d all have a pleasant little laugh at the utter lunacy of Donald Trump being the President of the United States.
But the laughter has turned to chills, it has been spiked through the neck and dragged through the town’s square. It’s not a joke anymore, this vapid, tanned, bulbous creature of rabid pomposity has a shot at the white house. Neither of the democratic candidates are unbeatable by any stretch, so the right needs to do its duty to put forth a qualified candidate for this office. So, it’s been fun, but whaddya say we nip this whole thing in the bud before it goes any further. If we act now we can slide this little mishap into a footnote in our country’s history instead of an entire, embarrassing and potentially devastating chapter.
20 Years Later
“I’ll have a gin and tonic please.” Thirty seconds later the glass is placed in front of me, a slice of lime hugging its northern edge.
“Another beer. Thanks.” says my companion.
“Hey, remember when Donald Trump ran for president?” I say.
“Wow, I almost forgot about that, he almost won the Republican nomination right?”
N.B. The main thesis of this article, that is the whole “don’t vote for this man” argument also fits for Senator Ted Cruz.
by Jesse Mechanic
Jesse Mechanic is the Editor-in-chief of The Overgrown.