Christmas is Dead

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It’s official, Christmas is dead.  The wild, final swipe of the PC sickle has officially decapitated father Christmas -I saw the light as it fled from his eyes and dissipated violently into the night’s sky. 

There may be no return from this, the encroaching forces have taken the bridge.  It is evident now that all that was sacred, the jiggling bells, the boughs of holly, the carols, the lights, the douglass fir trees, the Bing Crosby songs, the red and green color combinations, the sweaters, the department store sales, and even Santa Claus himself are as good as gone unless we do something soon.

I remember the good ol’ days.  Those days when Christmas was unchained and able to run free to be the obscenely presumptuous holiday it always has been.  Oh those wonderful winter nights when Xmas was self-ruling and able to haphazardly presuppose that everyone within its proximity was a willing party to its overarching glory.  Soon the forces that control these things will be coming into your homes to take away your Christmas trees.  You may think I am being an alarmist or even perhaps a conspiracy theorist.  Fine, keep your eyes closed, continue to be a sheep, enjoy the carol-less journey of your flock.  Just remember that the first thing the Nazis did was take away shopping mall Santas.  I’ve always lived by the phrase ABRE LOS OJOS and I’m not going to stop now.  I will be ready when they come for my Christmas tree and I will fight to the death for my Douglass fir (and yours).


Professor X (mas)

Profesor X (mas) is an anonymous contributor to The Overgrown who will be periodically weighing in on ever-encroaching war on Christmas.

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