So you’re a pot-stirring white person who is looking to spice things up this Halloween, and you’re thinking about just going for it. You’re thinking about blackface. I’m sure there are many questions echoing through your head like:
Will there be any black people at this halloween party?
Will everyone “get it?”
Will I get punched?
It’s the same thing as what the Wayans Brothers and Chapelle did right?
While we cannot answer these queries for you (except for the last one: A. it’s not), we can offer some advice.
We’re here to help make sure you know the appropriate times when it’s acceptable to don blackface and not be seen as someone who believes skin color is an appropriate costume accessory and thus is an abjectly racist monster Caucasian with a casual disregard for the suffering and cultural exploitation of millions of people.
We all want to have a happy Halloween.
And it’s with that in mind that we present our five examples of when it’s OK to wear blackface:
- Never ever.
- Never, never, never, never, never, ever, never never never never never never. Never.
- [Synonym for never.]
- At no point, for any reason, in any scenario either real or imagined, on this or any other planet.
For the love of God and science and literature and music and hope and beauty and mathematics, don’t do it.